Hello Reader,

Summer has finally arrived here in Finland, and I'm taking some time to slow down and enjoy the long, bright days (it’s been raining for two days straight as I’m writing this 😂).

That also means the blog and newsletter will be a little quieter for the next two or three weeks.

But I didn't want to disappear to a summer hideout without leaving you with something meaningful.

Now that I’ve had time to slow down and actually enjoy the summer, I've found myself thinking back to the summer holidays I took years ago, when I was working at a corporate bank.

Even though I had four weeks away from work (I’m grateful that we have that opportunity here in Finland), I could never truly relax. My body was on holiday, but my mind sure wasn't. No matter how I tried to relax, I felt constantly stressed, anxious, and at times deeply depressed.

Back then, I couldn't understand why. I thought time off was supposed to fix everything.

It took me years to realize what was really happening. I was living in what I now call misalignment. The life I was living had drifted away from who I really was: my values, my beliefs, my hopes, and the dream life I wanted to create.

No amount of vacation could bridge that gap. Of course it couldn’t.

Bridging it requires active participation, not slacking off on a beach (even though rest and relaxation are highly advisable otherwise).

Looking back, I wish I'd had the exercise I'm about to share with you. (But of course this exercise wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t been forced to figure it out first.)

In this newsletter, I'll tell you a quick story of how I discovered that misalignment was at the core of my struggles. Then I'll give you an exercise from my book, IAM: The Inner Alignment Method, that can help you uncover areas of misalignment in your own life.

Take your time with it. Reflect honestly, and don't rush to the answers. Even if you're not feeling anxious or depressed, this exercise can bring surprising clarity about where you are, what matters most to you, and what your next step might be.

My Story of Misalignment

15 years ago, I was living what I thought was the dream. I had completed the obstacle course of life with flawless results. I had studied hard and graduated with excellent grades.

I had a steady job at a high-profile company, a corporate bank, no less, and made good money. I was a respected member of the team among my colleagues and well-liked by my clients.

I had “checked all the boxes”. I had done what everyone had told me to do. I had done what I had been told was needed to be done for being happy.

Yet, I wasn’t happy. I was pretty much the opposite of happy.

I couldn’t shake the overwhelming stress and anxiety that my job caused me. Even during my luxuriously long four-week summer vacation, I could not calm down and enjoy my life.

I did the things I dreamt of doing: traveled, partied, went to the beach to catch some sun. I had money to spare. I had plenty of relationship opportunities. I had just bought my dream car.

None of those things mattered. Stress and anxiety were constant companions up to the point where I dreaded getting out of bed and looking at my phone, because I just couldn’t deal with anything.

Physically, I was a wreck too. My heartbeat was always fast. I felt tired. Irritated. I had pains in my body. I did not understand why or how things had gotten to this point.

But what I was sure of was that this sure as hell wasn’t happiness.

I understood later that the depression and anxiety I experienced back then were caused by “misalignment”.

Misalignment between who I believed (but had forgotten) I was deep down inside, and the person who I was now living a life that never quite felt truly mine.

I had always thought that success in life would equal happiness. And while that may be somewhat true, I did not know what “success” was. I just did what I had learned to do. I followed the narrative everyone else repeated: study hard, get a good job, make a lot of money, get a nice car, buy a house, start a family, and so on. I was told that was success.

And I always believed that I would find happiness at the end of that journey. Again, that’s what everyone had told me.

But that’s just it: all the things I did were things someone else expected me to do.

I had never even once stopped and asked myself, “What do I want to do with my life?”

What were my values?

What brought me genuine joy?

What things were truly important to me?

I lived a life that was never designed for me. It was not aligned with who I was or who I wanted to be. Constantly fighting my core values and living a life that didn’t bring me any fulfilment took its toll and led me to lose my energy and what little joy I ever had.

I became depressed.

Exercise: Core Truths Discovery

So that was my “origin story”, so to speak, and what I did to figure out my way out of depression started with figuring out what kind of person I really was and what kind of a life I really wanted to live.

Since starting Happiness on Demand, the questions I asked myself along the way have taken the shape of the following exercise.

I recommend you copy and paste the text on your phone or on your computer, and really take some time to think about the questions and answer them honestly. It’s also recommended to come back to it from time to time, and refine your answers so that you truly feel comfortable with them.

The core truths that you will write down in part 3 of the exercise should really excite you and make you smile. Then you can start to think about what kind of life you could build upon those truths.

What kind of work would complement your values? What would your ideal day look like? What kind of people would be involved? Where would you live? And so on.

Have fun with the exercise!

Core Truths Discovery

Purpose: To reveal the deeper truths about who you are by identifying what naturally brings you joy and energy. This is not about creating a "new" you, but discovering the authentic "you" that is already waiting to be expressed, so you don’t cause friction in your body/mind/spirit system by fighting your core values and truths unknowingly.
​

Part 1: The Discovery Questions

Instructions: Spend time alone without distractions. Don’t rush. Write whatever comes to mind. Both a list format or story format are fine.

1. The "Alive" Moments: Reflect on your past. What specific moments in your life have felt the most alive and meaningful?

2. The Flow State: When do you lose track of time because you are so engaged in what you are doing?

3. Natural Care: What do you naturally care about helping, fixing, or improving? (This often points to your purpose).

4. Pattern Recognition: Look at your answers above. Do you notice any patterns or emotional clues? These are the "breadcrumbs" of your authentic vision.

Part 2: Defining Your Core Values

List 10-15 values that feel important to you right now.

(Examples: Freedom, Creativity, Growth, Family, Peace, Adventure, Honesty)

Now circle your top 3-5 values, the ones you wouldn’t compromise for any price.

Part 3:Who I Really Am

Using the discovery questions in Part 1 and your top 3-5 values in Part 2, summarize who you are in a couple of sentences. We’ll call this

“Core Truths about Me”

[Example: I can enter the flow state when I’m engaged in creative activities, such as painting or playing an instrument. I come alive when I can help people solve their problems, no matter how big or small. Family, having fun, and living truthfully are important to me, no matter what. I feel like working in an organization that truly aims to help people would complement my values. etc.]

Thank you for spending a little of your summer with me, reading this newsletter.

I hope this story and exercise help you reconnect with what truly matters to you.

Wishing you a peaceful, restorative summer filled with moments of joy, peace of mind, and alignment. I'll be back soon with more stories and ideas to help you build a happier, more meaningful life.

Until then,

Think happy thoughts!

​- Atte

P.S. The blog and newsletter may have a slower pace during the summer, but my “journaling out of depression diary” is scheduled to be published every week on Substack. Even though it’s a journal, it has some pretty cool insights that eventually led me out of depression and inspired the creation of the Inner Alignment Method. It’s completely free to read, no subscription needed.

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